Parenting a Child with ADHD in Uncertain Times
By Shaina Wagner, ACSW, ADHD/ADD Specialist
When Everyone’s Bandwidths Are Full
There are seasons of parenting that feel hard for familiar reasons, such as busy schedules, emotional ups and downs, and the constant work of showing up for your child. And then there are moments when the world itself feels heavier.
Routines feel less stable.
Stress feels collective.
Uncertainty lingers in the background.
For families raising a child with ADHD, these moments can feel especially intense. ADHD is not just about attention or behavior. It’s a nervous system difference that affects how children process stimulation, emotion, and stress. When the environment feels unpredictable or emotionally charged, children with ADHD often feel it first, and express it most visibly.
ADHD and the Weight of Collective Stress
Children with ADHD rely heavily on external structure, predictability, and co-regulation to feel safe and organized. When stress increases, whether from disrupted routines, adult anxiety, or a general sense that things feel “off”, their capacity to regulate can narrow.
Parents may notice:
More frequent emotional outbursts or meltdowns
Heightened sensitivity, irritability, or anxiety
Increased difficulty with transitions or flexibility
Impulsive or oppositional-appearing behavior
These behaviors are not intentional. They are often signals that a child’s nervous system is overloaded and struggling to make sense of the world around them.
When Parenting Suddenly Feels Harder
Many caregivers find themselves asking:
Why isn’t what used to work working anymore?
Why does everything feel like such a struggle right now?
It’s easy to internalize these moments as personal failure. But parenting a child with ADHD during stressful times is not about trying harder, it’s about adjusting expectations to match current capacity. When the world feels uncertain, children with ADHD don’t need tighter control or more correction. They need more predictability, more emotional safety, and more support.
Regulation Before Correction
A dysregulated child cannot access reasoning, flexibility, or self-control. When stress is high, focusing only on behavior often misses the deeper need underneath.
Supporting regulation may look like:
Prioritizing connection before problem-solving
Keeping routines simple and predictable when possible
Temporarily reducing demands during emotionally heavy periods
Offering calm presence and reassurance rather than explanations
These approaches are not permissive, they are protective. Regulation creates the foundation that behavior change depends on.
Let Go of the Pressure to “Do It Right”
Many parents feel pressure to be the steady anchor: the calm, organized one who holds everything together. When your child has ADHD, that pressure can feel even heavier. Children don’t need perfect responses. They benefit more from repair than from consistency without compassion. A parent who can say, “That was hard. Let’s reset,” models resilience, flexibility, and emotional safety.
Offer A Gentle Reframe
If your child feels more reactive, more emotional, or harder to support right now, it doesn’t mean you’re losing progress. It likely means their nervous system is responding to a world that feels uncertain.
This is not the season for rigid expectations.
This is the season for flexibility, patience, and support.
Parenting a child with ADHD is not about control, but rather about co-regulation. And in complex times, co-regulation matters more than ever.
Reflection Questions for Parents
You might take a moment to reflect on the following:
What signs tell me that my child is feeling overwhelmed or dysregulated right now?
How has stress or uncertainty affected our routines as a family?
Which expectations could be softened temporarily without compromising safety or values?
What helps my child feel most grounded and connected when things feel hard?
Where are places where I might need more support or compassion for myself as well as my child?
Disclaimer
The ideas shared are informed by current clinical understanding of ADHD and caregiver mental health, including guidance and publicly available educational materials from reputable organizations such as CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder), the American Academy of Pediatrics, and other evidence-based mental health and caregiving resources.
These concepts are referenced for educational purposes only.
Every family is different. If you are feeling overwhelmed or concerned about your child or your own wellbeing, support from a licensed mental health professional may be helpful.
